AUGUST 13, 2025 – Hello everyone, I’m Amy, and perhaps unlike most people, I’m a military wife from China. Today, I want to share the heartfelt voice of a Chinese military spouse.
My husband is a soldier, and this year marks his final year of service as a Second-Class Sergeant. As early as last year, he mentioned that once his service term ended this year, he planned to retire. At the time, I firmly opposed the idea, and he stopped talking about it. But just a few days ago, during one of our conversations, the topic of retirement came up again.
As a military wife, deep down I also long for the day he can return home for good. I’m just an ordinary woman, dreaming of the simple happiness of living together every day like most couples do. But in the more than five years since we married, we have always lived apart. We only see each other a few times a year. Although he technically has three opportunities for leave annually, travel costs mean he usually comes home at most twice a year. Including travel time, we barely get 40 days together in total. His time at home is painfully short, and all household responsibilities, big and small, rest entirely on my shoulders.
During the day, I pour my full energy into my job; at night, I return home exhausted but still need to handle chores, take care of our child, and deal with social obligations. Many times, I can’t count on him for help—or even reach him at all. Over time, I’ve become like a spinning top, constantly moving along life’s track without pause. The dual pressures of work and home often leave me feeling overwhelmed, and I long for a dependable presence by my side. But when I think about our family’s long-term plans and his career, I truly don’t want him to retire just yet.
1. Financial Considerations
The primary reason I oppose his retirement is financial. His current monthly salary, combined with allowances and bonuses, is enough for our family of three to live stably. If he retires now, our income will drop significantly, affecting both our living standards and our child’s education.
As our child grows, expenses for education and daily life will only increase. Our aging parents will also require more medical and living support. The places where we’ll need to spend money will only multiply. Each additional year he serves is another year we can save and build a stronger financial foundation for life after the military. Many fellow military wives whose husbands have already retired admit that their income shrank dramatically and life became more financially strained. I simply hope to delay facing such challenges for as long as possible—is that really so wrong?
2. Resettlement Challenges
I also worry about job placement after service. Since he was promoted to Second-Class Sergeant, I’ve paid close attention to the veteran resettlement situation in our hometown. The opportunities there are not promising, and the location where he currently serves is also an ordinary region with average placement benefits. If he retires now, his resettlement ranking won’t be high, and his future career development could be limited. If he reaches First-Class Sergeant and serves a few more years before retiring, he might have better options. Life inevitably comes with regrets, but if we strive for the best possible outcome, perhaps those regrets will be fewer.
3. Misunderstood Reasons
Whenever he brings up retirement, he says it’s so he can return to the family and take better care of me and our child. But I know that’s not the full story—I can guess the real reasons.
On one hand, the strict military rules make him feel a lack of freedom—he can’t use his phone freely, and his daily movements are heavily restricted. Over time, this has become tiresome for him. On the other hand, he believes that military life is limiting his personal growth and is confident he could make a bigger impact in civilian life. However, he went straight from school into the army, with no real experience in the civilian workforce, so he doesn’t yet understand its complexities and challenges.
Several of his comrades have had the same idea, but after retiring, life wasn’t as smooth as they imagined. Especially for those who left before serving 12 years, many now regret their decision. I simply don’t want him to face the same regret and frustration.
He sometimes thinks my opposition means I don’t care about him or understand him, but the truth is exactly the opposite. I’m stopping him from retiring now because I care for him deeply. I hope that after retirement, he won’t look back with regret; that he’ll have a stable, promising career; and that he won’t have to worry about financial hardship. I also hope he will continue to hold his post and keep working toward our shared dreams.
Drawing Strength from Life
Being a military wife—especially one separated by distance—is incredibly challenging. To find emotional support while my husband is away, I work part-time with LPM Coins, writing stories about soldiers and their families, and providing design ideas for badges and commemorative coins. Each time I design a challenge coin or write about a soldier’s honor, I feel a sense of connection to my husband’s commitment and pride. These small tokens not only represent military honor but also offer us wives something tangible to hold onto during their absence.
By helping others preserve their memories of service, I’ve also learned to find strength in my own life. Even while living apart and facing pressure, I can still protect our family in my own way, stand by my husband from afar, and share our story with more people who may understand.
Around the world, different countries have different policies regarding military service and retirement. But one thing is the same for all military spouses—we all believe our husbands are the best, even though this life can be lonely. And yet, I still want to support my husband in staying in the service, holding his post, and walking each day’s journey together with him in my own way.